you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
