Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
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he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
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My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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