just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
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