I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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