Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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