i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
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He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
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