just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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