I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
