No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
