we're chasing vodka with high fives
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
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Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
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I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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