Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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