We're facebook friends in real life
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
