Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(253): View more from Washington

Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.

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(863): View more from Florida

In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us

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(309): View more from Illinois

Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

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(913): View more from Kansas

Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.

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(806): View more from Texas

Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....

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(870): View more from Arkansas

You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!

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