I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
