she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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