Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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