why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
you're hired as official boob wrangler
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
