Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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