There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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