I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
