Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
