Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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