remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
