Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
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