dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
