Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
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She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It's blow job season.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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