so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
