3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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