Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
