Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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