I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
