I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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