It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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