you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
