Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
