It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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