We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
