**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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