Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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