Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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