false alarm. still invincible.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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