hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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