Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
