so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bring me that man meat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
