I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
