Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
