I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
