tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
