We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
