she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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