guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
