Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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