Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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