Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
